Bergland Bay Bar

Weather: Cold through the weekend

Trail Conditions: Same ole Same ole……. They are great

A few more sleds around yesterday, and the motel in town has more reservations for the weekend so we should be a little busier this weekend than we have been through the week.  I have a fresh batch of beef coming in so stop on by and have one.  Too many bush lights for me last night so I gotta go get ready, the brain cells just ain’t working this morning.

Weather: Cold, Fricken Cold

Tral Conditions: Awesome, Fricken Awesome

Temps are supposed to get into the -4 region today.  Might be a good day to sit on a bar stool.  Low temps are going to hang around until the later part of next week, I hope my propane holds out until the price goes down.

Trails are still in great shape, They should last through March.  The question is will we?  LOL  Kristie should be returning to work pretty soon, she stopped by with baby Aubrey last week.

Not much going on up here these days, just cold, snow and great trails.  We did get a few more inches yesterday.

Weather: Cold and possible snow

Trail Conditions: Their GRRRRRRREATTTTTTTTT

Great conditions, except for the cold that is.  Trails are flat and hard, and we are getting a few inches of snow everyday it seems like.  A nice refresh every morning.  Not a whole lot else I can say about the trails, they have been as good as they can get all year long.

A shout out to Mike, Alex and Josh from Rockland Iowa, thanks for stopping in yesterday.

We did have an incident at the Bar yesterday, Ryan from White Pigeon Mi, was eating a beef sandwich and started choking.  two of his buddies had to perform the hine-lick maneuver on him.  When the second guy did the maneuver on him a pepper shot out and he quit choking.   That was the most excitement we have had at the bar in weeks, sorry it was at your expense Ryan…….

A shout out to Jean T.   ……… Did you really threaten to cut off one of your boss’s exterminates for not putting something back in the file cabinet?

 A reader in need of parts:      I have two 1995 Polaris XLT. The water pump went out on one and Polaris has discontinued them. I have found that they are in high demand as they were used on machine from 92 -97. I have check a number of dealers and salvage places with no luck finding one. Just wondering if any of your followers would have an idea where I could find one.

Weather: Cold

Trail Conditions: Fricken Awesome

Get out the long johns, that is if you have even put them away this year. The cold ass weather is back in full force one again.  So expect flat, hard and smooth trails out there.  Just bundle up and drink plenty of liquids, oh and eat lots of hot Italian beef too.  Traffic is way down, even from the light traffic we have had this year, even though March yields some of the best riding conditions, most riders are done for the year.  I hope to get out the second week in March for a ride, I think we will have plenty of snow left.  I’m not sure where I will be headed but Copper Harbor sounds pretty good.  I won’t go up and back the same day like most of you though, a 3 day trip sounds a lot better to me.  Got to take time to stop and smell the roses.  If I can’t find any roses maybe a few tequila’s and a bunch of Bush Lights in the local pubs will do.

 

The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.
The instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier.
Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.”
“Gentlemen, remember — you’re in this together. It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both.”
The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.
“Yes?” said the Instructor.
“I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

Weather: A few more inches of snow and cold weather

Trail Conditions: A fresh coat of snow, they are going to be like Highways

More sleds around last week than the week before.  Looks like folks saved their vacation time for later in the year.  I think we will be sledding well into March if not the whole month.  We have plenty of snow out in the woods and the temps don’t seem to be warming up.  Plenty of season left, come on up and enjoy the fun.

 

A man and his wife moved back home to Minnesota from Arizona. The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Arizona was $2,000.00 a year!

When they arrived in Minnesota, they went to Sven’s Insurance Agency to see how much it would cost to insure the wooden leg. Sven looked it up on his computer and said to the couple, “$39.00.”

The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap in Minnesota to insure because it cost $2,000.00 in Arizona!

Sven turned his computer screen to the couple and said, “Vell, here it is on the screen, direct from Ole’s Minnesota Fire Insurance Company, it says:  Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system over it, is $39.00.”

Weather: Back to the cold

Trail Conditions: I’m Speachless

Got writer’s block here.  Nothing new, no assholes, good trails, hot beef, cold beer, need I say more?  It is Sunday, take your mother to church day.  Opps and I said assholes!

Been a busy week, a lot more riders up this past week than I expected, conditions are still as good as they get, so get your asses up here……. Opps there I go again.

Ole was walking home  late at night and sees a woman in the Shadows
‘Twenty dollars’ she  whispers.
Ole had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it’s only twenty bucks, So they hide in  the bushes.
They’re going ‘at it’ for a minute  when all of a sudden a light flashes on them.  It is a police  officer.
‘What’s going on here, people?’  asks the officer
‘I’m making love to da wife!,’ Ole answers sounding annoyed.
‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ says the cop, ‘I  didn’t know’ 
‘Well, neidder did I, til ya  shined dat light in her face.

Weather: We got enough snow, now cold is setting back in

Trail Conditions: Same ole crap, trails are great

Holy crap did we get the snow.  Problem is I couldn’t tell you what actually fell.  With the wind causing drifting it is hard to say, somewhere between 10 and 18 inches maybe LOL.  Probably 12-14 inches.  All I know is I am sick of plowing.  Business seems to have picked up this last week.  More sleds have been around this week than last week but the word from riders I talk to is conditions are still very good.  Most of the groomers should be back out on the trail now with the winds and snow dying down.  Have fun and be safe, I think we still are going to have a good month of snowmobile season left.

 Every night after dinner, Merle took off for the local watering hole.  He would spend the whole evening there and always arrive home, quite inebriated, around midnight each night.

    He usually had trouble getting his key to fit the keyhole and couldn’t get the door open.  And every time this happened, his wife would go to the door and let him in.  Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him, for his constant nights out and always coming home in a drunken state.   But Merle just continued his nightly routine.

    One day, the wife was talking to a friend about her husband’s behavior and was particularly distraught by it all.

    The friend listened and said, “Why don’t you treat him a little differently when he comes home?  Instead of berating him, why don’t you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss?  Then he might change his ways.”

    The wife thought that this might be a good idea.

    That night, Merle took off again after dinner.  And at about midnight, he arrived home in his usual condition.

    His wife heard him at the door.  She quickly opened it and let Merle in.

    Instead of berating him as she had always done, this time she took his arm and led him into the living room.   She sat Merle down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the ottoman and took his shoes off.  Then she went behind him and started to cuddle him a little.  After a little while, she said to Merle, “It’s pretty late, dear.  I think we had better go upstairs to bed now, don’t you think?”

    At that, in his inebriated state he replied, “I guess we might as well.  I’ll get in trouble when I get home anyway!”

Weather: Still Snowing and colder

Trail Conditions: If they were good yesterday they will be a lot better today

We didn’t get the 12+ inches, and by looking out the window I am not sure what we did get, 6+ for sure though.  I plowed some last night and it was a wet heavy one.  It is still snowing this morning and the winds are supposed to kick up later today.  Riders said for the most part the trails were still in great shape yesterday except close to towns.  This snow will fix all the access trails.  We were busy till late last night, cooked a lot of beefs too.  I have to get plowing before I open so good bye for now……..

Weather: 40 Degrees today and then Look out tonight

Trail Conditions: Holding their own, Look out tonight

Trails have been holding up for the most part, we have had a lot of melting as you can see from my webcams.  But the view of my cams on the street does not represent what is out in the woods.  The woods are great except for a few high spots on top where snow was thin in the first place.  Very far and few between from what I am hearing.  Coming into towns the snow will get thin because of the blacktop but we have plenty of snow left and Mother Nature is ALMOST guaranteeing blizzard like conditions by tomorrow.  11-17 inches according to wunderground.com  and then the cold sets in.  Head up today or wait until Saturday, Friday travel may not be too good.

 

A hurricane capsizes a cruise ship in the Caribbean. A stock broker washes ashore on a remote island. Outside of the beautiful scenery, a fresh water pool and bananas, there is little else.

One day, after several months have passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appears.

“Wow! I can’t believe I found another person!” she exclaims. “Were you on the cruise ship, too?”

“Yes, I was,” he answers. “Where did you get that rowboat?”

“Oh,” she says, “I found it washed up on the beach. Where is your shelter?”

“To be honest, I’ve just been sleeping on the sand,” he says.

She invites him to her side of the island. Once she’s rowed them to her side, she ties up the boat with hand-woven rope. “It took forever to find enough washed up strands to braid that length of rope,” she tells him.

She leads him to a cozy bungalow painted blue and green. “I scouted for felled trees and then stained the salvaged wood with these really juicy berries I found in the jungle,” she tells him.

Once inside, she excuses herself to slip into something more comfortable. She returns wearing revealing silk lingerie, smiling provocatively.

“I found some washed up suitcases from the cruise ship a few weeks ago,” she tells him. “But now that I’ve found you, I finally have a reason to wear something sexy again. Tell me, haven’t you been lonely? Isn’t there something that you really, really miss? Something you’ve been longing for, too?”

“Oh wow!” exclaims the man. “You mean you’ve found the Internet, too?!”

Weather: Warmer today and tomorrow, then look out

Trail Conditions: Good for the most part

Most trails will be in great shape but you can expect some snirt and possible rough spots along the way.  Grooming may be limited because of the warm temps for a few days but Friday we are going back down.  Snow is also on the way starting late Thursday and continuing into Friday.  8 inches or so possibly and then back to below zero.  So don’t fret the blacktop out in front of the bar, it will be all white again real soon…….

I had a few items turned in at the bar that were found on the trail.  A cigar case and a gps with glasses and a tow rope.  Call me at the bar and if you can id them I will send them back to you.

 

One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor.”

“Don’t do that! There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.”

Jeffery figured he had nothing to lose, so he took his urine sample to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:

“You have tennis elbow.

Soak your arm in warm water.
Avoid heavy lifting.
It will be better in two weeks.”

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited $10.00. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

“Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener.

Your dog has worms.
Get him vitamins.

Your daughter’s using cocaine.
Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.

Your wife’s pregnant – twin girls.
They aren’t yours.
Get a lawyer.

And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.”