Bergland Bay Bar

Weather: Beautiful Still Again, but wait till tomorrow

Trail Conditions: It’s ATV time

Another nice day today but rain is coming in over night for a few days.  I was at the campground last night with Mom, it was a fantastic night but I couldn’t get comfortable when I tried to sleep.  So I’ll probably be crabbier than hell at the Bar today.  Not much else going on today, well not for me anyway.  The Chamber’s fishing tournament is today but I don’t get a lot of business from them, I wish you snowmobilers would teach the fishermen how to drink…..

 

A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.

“No!” yells the blonde.

Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.

“For the last time, no!” says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, “Well, why the hell not?”

The blonde says, “Because I wanna stay up here with you!”

Weather: Beautiful Still Again

Trail Conditions: It’s ATV time

WOW, the weather does not get any better than this.  80’s today and tomorrow too. Yesterday kind of went to shit on me.  The rear brake on my truck is hanging up, the wash machine quit working, my back hoe has major problems and Becker called from Iron Mountain and said she blew up the motor in the car.  So what do you do when the going gets tough in the UP?  You say fuck it, get some beer and burgers and go camping.  I’m taking Mom back to the camper on the Lake.

Thanks to goos ole Uncle Phil, here is a neat video of Lake Superior, and yes that is ice on the Lake on May 28th.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3lZVUW26v6ObUVzZFo1VVVhMm8/edit?usp=sharing 

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them.

“You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money.”

Then she whispers, “You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes…”

Weather: Beautiful Still Again

Trail Conditions: It’s ATV time

I’m kind of at a loss for words here, not much going on and I don’t really know what to write.  Maybe it is time for me to hit myself with the taser again.  Or maybe it is time for one of you to do something stupid and then write about it. No news is good news I guess sometimes, so how about just a joke today…

 

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went.

The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed.

Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.

“Can of PAINT!” exclaimed the minister.

“Yeah,” said the newlywed man. “She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over.”

The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.

“That’s okay,” said the man. “We’re not welcome in Home Depot either.”

Weather: Beautiful Still

Trail Conditions: It’s ATV time

Below is a video of Mark Sizemore from St Louis Mo. I believe getting air time on his way to getting his pilot’s license. They left from Mercer Wi. and looks like they had lunch at the Hoop. Kind of neat seeing Lake Gogebic from the air.

 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3lZVUW26v6OQ3dUWGhoOHltZVU/edit?usp=sharing

Weather: Beautiful

Trail Conditions: It’s ATV time

Short and sweet today.  No not me, I have never been short LOL.  Grass cutting at the house today, but first it is time to get the other riding lawn mower going. Yep I got 2 of them, I always thought it would be cool to have a yard big enough to own a riding lawn mower, now I have two.  But to tell you the truth it is just like plowing snow, IT WAS ONLY FUN THE FIRST TWO TIMES, after that it is just another job I have to do.  But it beats walking.

Have a good day, be safe and remember……. He who farts in church sits in pew alone.

Weather: Chance of a Thunder storm, but near 80 today

Trail Conditions: It’s ATV time

I got one of my riding lawn mowers working yesterday and got the grass cut down at the bar.  Bar tending today so maybe I’ll get the house mower going tomorrow and get the grass at home.  Sucks having 2 big yards LOL.

My Mom is settled in at the county park, it seems a little strange without my Dad here barking orders, when we got all set up and sat to have a beer memories of him falling last year started popping into my head.  Pops we all miss you, I kind of wish you were still here barking out orders.  You could piss off the Pope but we all still miss you.

 

Can you spare just $2? Timmy is a nine year old boy living in Detroit. He has only one leg, one arm and one eye. Each day he has to ride seven miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only one pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video – it’s fucking hilarious.

 

Weather: Longest stretch of nice days we have had in a while

Trail Conditions: Dusty, it’s about time

I was busy getting my Mom set up at the park for the summer but in the few hours I spent at the bar and in town yesterday I seen a lot of atv’s around. I’ve heard a lot of complaining about our trail system too.  The biggest complaint is “we don’t want to ride asphalt.”  I agree totally folks but the truth is we have what we have right now.  You do end up on asphalt roads a lot to get between trails, but it will get better.  ATV trails are a lot harder to get than snowmobile trails, but there are many people working on expanding our trail system. Snowmobilers get spoiled by our great trail system in the UP.  A lot of those trails are impassable in the summer because they are wet lands in the warmer months.  Private land owners are less likely to give us easements because of the damage that is done to trails, especially when it is wet out.  As we establish more trails hopefully Federal, State and Private Landowners will see with a properly maintained trail system we will not cause damage and be a big boost to the economy in the UP.  With the increase in atv trail sticker fees this year we can only hope and pray the money will be spent wisely to improve this system.

One day I can only hope that we have an ATV trail system that compares with our snowmobile trail system.  Until then I hope you can bare with us and enjoy what we have for now.

Weather: Beautiful, just Fricken Beautiful AGAIN

Trail Conditions: Should be drying out some

It does not get any better than this.  Into the 80’s maybe.  Now if the fish would only start to bite.  Well actually they are but the word for the most part is little ones.  Here and there I hear good reports though.  But mostly small walleye are being caught. (Here I go again, I’m not being positive LOL) But just like winter time, I repeat what I hear.  I’m sure experienced fishermen are doing better than most, they usually do.  But it is a great time to come up and enjoy the weather, and the beer……

 

PEEING ON THE FLOWERS _

A  LITTLE OLD LADY WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET DRAGGING TWO LARGE PLASTIC GARBAGE BAGS BEHIND HER. ONE OF THE BAGS WAS RIPPED AND  EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE A $20 FELL OUT ONTO THE SIDEWALK. NOTICING  THIS, A POLICEMAN STOPPED HER, AND SAID, “MA’AM, THERE ARE $20  BILLS FALLING OUT OF THAT BAG.”

“Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.
“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?” “OH, NO, NO”, SAID THE OLD LADY.  “YOU SEE, MY BACK YARD IS RIGHT NEXT TO A GOLF COURSE.  A LOT  OF GOLFERS COME AND PEE THROUGH A KNOT HOLE IN MY FENCE, RIGHT  INTO MY FLOWER GARDEN. IT USED TO REALLY TICK ME OFF. KILLS THE  FLOWERS, YOU KNOW.  THEN I THOUGHT, ‘WHY NOT MAKE THE BEST OF  IT?”   “SO, NOW, I STAND BEHIND THE FENCE BY THE KNOT HOLE,  REAL QUIET, WITH MY HEDGE CLIPPERS. EVERY TIME SOME GUY STICKS HIS  THING THROUGH MY FENCE, I SURPRISE HIM, GRAB HOLD OF IT AND SAY,  O.K., BUDDY! GIVE ME $20, OR OFF IT COMES.”

“WELL, THAT  SEEMS ONLY FAIR,” SAID THE COP, LAUGHING. “OK.. GOOD LUCK!”  “OH, BY THE WAY, WHAT’S IN THE OTHER  BAG?”

“NOT EVERYBODY PAYS.”_

Weather: Beautiful, just Fricken Beautiful

Trail Conditions: Should be drying out some

I spent a lot of time on I-90 yesterday with Mom, just sitting there enjoying the scenery along side the road.  Tuesday I made it between Rockford and Chicago with no problem, yesterday was another story.  Good thing that I had good company along to BS with.  We sat for 20 minutes at one point without moving. But now I got Mom back up north where she belongs.

I stopped at the Ohara Oasis on the way down to take a short break and a guy stopped me crying and asked if I could help him and his family get back home. I blew him off as I had to pee pretty bad, but when I came back outside feeling a little guilty I looked for him, only to find hime on the other side of the parking lot getting back into a semi all by himself.  My middle finger did not do the situation justice, what a fucking douche bag.

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.
He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?”
“We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “We have to eat grass.”
“Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you,” the lawyer said.
“But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.”
“Bring them along,” the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, “You may come with us, also.”The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, “But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!”
“Bring them all as well,” the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.
Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, “Sir, you are too kind.
Thank you for taking all of us with you.
The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high.”

C’mon…did you really think there was such a thing as a heartwarming lawyer story?

Weather: Shitty outside, but a good day for a ride

Trail Conditions: Fun but still pretty wet in areas

Did you every think that cops give out less speeding tickets when it is raining out there?  Well I always did.  Not that I am a speed demon or anything but when I travel I would rather it be rainy outside, thinking it would be less likely for the police to be sitting along side the road running radar.  So I’ll probably set the cruise at a few extra miles per hour.  Well it is off to Indiana to go pick up my mom to bring her back for the summer.  Man I sure hope summer comes this year. Forecast for the weekend looks pretty good, 70’s and sunny for Friday and Saturday, but then rain for a fricken week.

I’ll be off line for a few days. Mom don’t have internet.  Yep that’s right, at least one house hold does not have internet in Indiana.  See you all on Friday……