Weather: 60’s and sunny, snow next week?
Trail Conditions: Grades should be ok.
Becker stayed at the bar last night and finished shampooing the carpets. the place looks
pretty good if I say so myself, well for a 93 year old building that is.
Right in the midsts of doing the bar this week I found out the offer we made on the house
for my Mom on Lake Gogebic was excepted. How many 81 year olds do you know that move to
the UP. I think that I am seeing another web cam in the near future. It will be a
beautiful view, right down the whole length of the Lake. I couldn’t think of a better
place to wake up each and every morning. Any takers by my Indiana friends of packing up
a U-Haul in Demotte? LOL
The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summon him to the IRS
office.
The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with
his attorney.
The auditor says, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win
money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”
“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Ralph. “How
about a demonstration?” The auditor thinks for a moment and says, “Okay, Go
ahead.”
Ralph says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can
bite my own eye.”
The auditor thinks a moment and says, “No way! It’s a bet.”
Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor’s jaw drops. Ralph says, “Now, I’ll bet you two
thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”
The auditor can tell Ralph isn’t blind, so he takes the
bet.
Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost
three grand, with Ralph’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
“Want to go double or nothing?” Ralph asks.
“I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one
side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a
drop anywhere in between.
“The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks
carefully and decides there’s no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees
again.
Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but
although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the
other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just
turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Ralph’s attorney moans and puts his head in his
hands.”Are you okay?” the auditor asks.”Not really,” says the attorney. “This
morning, when Ralph told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty
thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over an IRS official’s desk
and that you’d be happy about it.”
