Weather: Sunny Today.
GRASS is the word for today, gotta get the yard at home done today. Sunny outside so it should be a good day to work in the yard.
Subject:
As We Age
The biggest lie I
tell myself is …”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
Wouldn’t it be
great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out
wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
Last year I joined
a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet!
I don’t trip over
things, I do random gravity checks!
I don’t need anger
management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
Old age is coming
at a really bad time!
Lord grant me the
strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I
can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
I don’t have gray
hair. I have “wisdom highlights”. I’m just very wise.
My people skills
are just fine. It’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
Teach your
daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of
paper.
If God wanted me
to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.
The kids text me
“plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no” which is shorter than
“yes”.
I’m going to
retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do that second
week.
When did it change
from “We the people” to “screw the people” ?
Even duct tape
can’t fix stupid … but it can muffle the sound!
Why do I have to
press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t
understand anyway?
Of course I talk
to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
Oops! Did I roll
my eyes out loud?
At my age “Getting
lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Chocolate comes
from cocoa which is a tree … that makes it a plant which means … chocolate is
salad !!!
