Archive for November 20, 2015

11-20-15

Weather: Windy and cold, snow next week.

They are predicting snow next week, it is way too early to get excited, but I always get excited when it looks like snow season may be starting. And Harvey close your ears, it was colder than a Witches Tit last night.

A major international company was looking to hire someone for an important position, so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to three people from different parts of the world.

In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the same question to answer within 24 Hours and the one with the best answer would get the job. The question was: 

“A man and a woman are in bed, nude. The woman is lying on her side with her back facing the man, and the man is lying on his side facing the woman’s back. What is the man’s name?”

After the 24 hours was up, the three were brought in to give their answers.

The first, from the USA , says, “My answer is, there IS no answer.”

The second, from England, says, “My answer is that there is no way to determine the answer with the information we were given.”

The third one, from Scotland, says, “I’m not exactly sure, but I have it narrowed down to two names. It’s either: Willie Turner or Willie Nailer?”

The Scotsman got the job!

11-19-15

Weather: Windy and cold the rest of the week.

The temps are heading in the right direction, now to get the big snow machine up north to start producing some of the white stuff we all look forward to this time of year. John Dee’s Seasonal Outlook is warmer than average and below normal snow fall. Only time will tell though.

 Gotta Love This One!

 

 

Barack Obama, at a recent rural elementary school assembly in South Carolina, asked the audience for total quiet.

 

Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

 

Then he said into the microphone, ‘Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.’

 

Then, little Darrell, with a proud South Carolina drawl, pierced the quiet and said:

 

“Well, dumbass, stop clappin’!

11-18-15

Weather: 50’s and rain, then 30’s the of the week.

I hear of a deer here and there being shot. Speaking of deer, Dear Jane out in Kenton at Hoppys has had a couple of deer pics in front of her bar.

ATT0001055 ATT0000211

11-17-15

Weather: 50’s and rain, turning to snow by the end of the week.

What to say today? I am search for the Lady that last year, took the Picture at the Bergland Dock of a snowmobiler that left my bar and striped down to his underwear to ride on the sled of the “BIG” guy, across the Lake. If you have this pic and can send it to me you will win a prize.

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11-16-15

Weather: 50’s and rain, turning to snow by the end of the week.

What to say today? How can I not mention football? WOW, anyone wanting to watch a nail biter should have tuned into the Packer Lion game. I know the Lion’s fans were long over due for a win in Green Bay, but that was not a win to be proud of. The Lions did everything they could to loose that game, the Packers just played a little bit worse. Packer fans if you are going to hate me for telling the truth, than so be it. Lions fans if you are proud of that win, well I am speechless.

Congrats to Minnesota and Chicago, I didn’t see the games but I did see you won.

On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Lions fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Lions fans. Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, ‘Janie, why didn’t you raise your hand?’ Because I’m not a Lions fan,’ she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, ‘Well, if you are not a Lions fan, then who are you a fan of?’ ‘I am a Packers fan, and proud of it,’ Janie replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. ‘Janie please tell us why you are a Packers fan?’ “Because my mom is a Packers fan, and my dad is Packers fan, so I’m a Packers fan too!” “Well,” said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, ‘that is no reason for you to be a Packers fan. You don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?’ “Then,” Janie smiled, ‘I’d be a Lions fan.’

This joke could have gone either way after yesterday’s game.

 

11-15-15

Weather: 50’s and sunny.

Good luck deer hunting every. Opening day today. Ahh and football, Packers vs Lions, what will the end of the game bring, the Packers have not lost 2 games in a row since like 2010, I couldn’t find anything on line about 3 losses in a row. Hopefully the Packers can pull todays game out.

A woman walks in to a gynecologists office. he looks at her and all of his professionalism goes out the window cuz she is fiiiiiine. He asks her to undress and he then proceeds to touch her up on the inside of her legs. ‘do you know what I’m doing?’ he asks her. ‘Yes your checking for any broken or damaged skin.’ ‘yes’ he replies. he then begins to fondle her tits, ‘do you know what I’m doing now?’ he asks her. ‘yes, your checking for any lumps that could be cancerous.’ ‘yes’ he replied. then he mounted her and started having sex with her, ‘do you know what I’m doing now?’ he asks her. ‘yeh, your getting herpes, which is why I came to see you!’

11-14-15

Weather: Back to the 50’s.

Tune into the web cams and watch the snow melt. I got a lot of comments about wanting the snow for snowmobile season. We don’t need any snowmobile snow for another month. This one was just nice to look at. A Winter Wonderland. But it will be all gone in a few days. For now anyway. But just wait, Mother Nature will not let us down.

Never gave this a thought!

This one may have a kernel of truth in it.  
 
 
Andy Griffith’s Peaceful town
 
 
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet
was because nobody was married –
Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard,
Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T Bass, Helen,
Thelma Lou, Clara, and of course Opie
– all single.  
 
The only married person was Otis,
and he stayed drunk.  
 
Just saying.

11-13-15

Weather: Check out the web cams, 6+ so far.

Mother Nature didn’t let us down, 6 inches on the ground and it is still coming down. Look quick because it is going to be 50 degrees next week. Mom is happy, it is the first snow, I’m sure by December she will be sick of the pretty white stuff.

All my cameras went down on Weather Underground, I can’t figure out why and I have a support call into them.Hopefully they will be up soon.

After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.

Now … I have a $750,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 73-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.

My wife is a very reasonable woman.  She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV. Aren’t older women great?  They really know how to solve an old guy’s problems.

 

11-12-15

Weather: Straight from weather Underground……. It’s about fricken time.

... Winter Storm Warning in effect from 9 PM EST /8 PM CST/ this
evening to 1 PM EST /noon CST/ Friday... 

The National Weather Service in Marquette has issued a Winter
Storm Warning... which is in effect from 9 PM EST /8 PM CST/ this
evening to 1 PM EST /noon CST/ Friday. 

Hazardous weather... 

 * rain will turn to snow this evening into tonight. Snow will become
   heavy at times late tonight into early Friday morning before
   gradually tapering off through the rest of the day Friday.

 * Total accumulations of wet heavy snow through Friday morning will
   range from 3 to 7 inches... greatest from Ironwood to Bergland and
   least near Watersmeet.


She's single and she lives right across the street. I can see her place from my kitchen window.

I watched as she got home from work this evening.

I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on the door.

I opened the door, she looked at me and said, “I just got home and I have this strong urge to have a good time, dance, get drunk, and get laid tonight! Are you doing anything?”

I quickly replied, “Nope, I’m free!”

She said, “Great! Could you watch my dog??”

Being a senior citizen really sucks sometimes!

11-11-15

Only two things to say today

Happy Veterans Day

And Thank You

ATT00005