Bergland Bay Bar

Weather: 30’s.

Looks like we are hanging around the 30’s for the next week. It’s probably for the best though, a nice slower melt means more water going into the ground instead of just running off. I guess that is just a way for me to try and convince myself 30’s is better than 60’s right now. It’s not working though.

Weather: Fricken Cold still.

12 degrees right now. Gotta love the UP. Almost 70 last weekend and 12 today. Hopefully the cold is killing mosquitoes. Or black flies, or may flies, or one of the other pesky creatures we get in the summer up here.  Gotta run this morning, gotta take Mom to get her hair done.

Tammy Worachek’s benifit is at Twilly’s today.

The first man married a woman from New York. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a woman from Cincinnati. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man named Sven married a girl from Minnesota. He ordered her to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

Weather: Fricken Cold.

Not much going on in the Northwoods. Getting emails and Facebook posts about people wanting to come up for a last ride. My advice, stay home, it won’t be worth the trip. I’m not sure how much snow they got up in the Keeweenaw, sounds like west and south of us got most of the snow. I can’t imagine it would be any good out in the woods, we had a lot of melting going on last week.

I called the Mosquito Inn and they got 18″ of snow yesterday. If you really want to get a last ride in, head north. Tell Shelly I said hi.

 

They’re back! Those wonderful church bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with their computers. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services: 

Weather: 3 maybe 4 inches.

Happy Saint Patty’s Day everyone.

Well as usual I told Becker she was getting 8-12 inches last night and she only got 3-4. A good time to be left short though. Temps are going to stay in the 30’s for a while, we were melting pretty good good last week but looks like we will have white around for a while. Mother Nature had Spring come in and screw up the rest of snowmobile season, and now it is back to the 30’s to screw up Spring. All the locals said we were not done with snow yet, I thought they were nuts, but they were right.

Weather: Snow, lots of it.

Last week we were in the 60’s, this week possible 12 inches or more. Don’t get any bright ideas of one last ride, I’m sure there is plenty of water out there in the woods. But if you happen to be up here (BRENT FRASIER) you could possibly run the grade to Kenton and get a Sloppy Hoppy.

I got a few questions about when the ATV trails open, this came straight from the DNR.

The USFS has a seasonal restriction on trails on their land –that would include:

• Pioneer Trail
• East Ottawa Connector
• Bond Falls to Land o Lakes

 

The DNR ORV routes and trails on State land have no seasonal restrictions.  However, we encourage folks to stay off the trails until they dry out.

• Bergland to Sidnaw
• Bill Nichols
• Crystal Falls to Marenisco
• Baraga Plains Trail

 

The routes are open to all ORV’s.  The trails are open to ORV’s 50” and less.  The only trail in your area is the Baraga Plains trail.  The rest are routes.

I believe the USFS restrictions are until May. This gives the trails a chance to dry out from winter melting. It was hard getting trails on the USFS land, we sure do not want to give them a reason to take them away. We seen the impact of snowmobile trails taken away from us this year because of idiots that think they can ride where they want and with there loud pipes (and small penises) please don’t make the same mistakes with ATVs.

 

Two old guys are talking while their wives are in the kitchen.

Weather: Fricken snow coming.

It was back to work yesterday, man what a pressure cooker it was. Must have had 10 to 12 people in the bar at one point yesterday, thought I was going to need to call in help. What a difference a few weeks make. April is usually our slowest month, March is pretty quiet too after the sleds leave.

It looked like we were going to have a very early spring, but temps for the next week are only in the high 30’s. Snow is also in the forecast the next couple of days. Just great, I am having a dock made for Mom’s house and Mother Nature is threatening a St Patty’s Day snow storm.

“Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?” I asked my friend.

“He wants to be a garbageman,” he replied.

“That’s an unusual ambition to have at such a young age.”

“Not really. He thinks that garbagemen work only on Tuesdays.

Weather: Sloppy Spring.

Trail conditions: Too wet to ATV. 

Monday and my vacation is over. Sorry folks but I needed to drop out of site for a little while. It was a tough winter on me LOL. Getting older and getting busier, both are good I guess but just tough on the body. It was great seeing all our Winter Friends again, thanks for another great year. I have to get caught up on things, I didn’t even check emails for a week. I’m back and will be posting everyday again. Send me some jokes, I’m running low….

Looking for a black canvas bag with tools in it, lost between Trail 13 and White Pine about a week ago. Contact me at the bar if found, I have the owners info.

A Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened. The Marine reported, “I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved. and he yelled back that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left wing ‘Commie’ who isn’t even an American. So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, ‘Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!. And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us.”

A little old lady had always wanted to join a local biker club, so one day she goes up and knocks on the door. A big, hairy bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers.

She proclaims, “I want to join your club.”

The guy was amused, but says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join.

The biker asks, “Do you have a motorcycle?”

The little old lady replies, “Yep… my bike’s parked over there,” and points to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway.

The biker asks, “Do you drink?”

The little old lady replies, “Yep… drink like a fish. I’ll drink any man in your club under the table.”

The biker asks, “Do you smoke?”

The little old lady replies, “Yep… smoke like a chimney. At least 4 packs of cigarettes and three joints a day and a couple of cigars in the evening, while I’m shooting pool.”

The biker is very impressed and asks, “Last question…. have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”

The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, “Nope……but I’ve been swung around by my nipples a few times.”

Weather: Only sucks if you own a sled.

Trail conditions: See ya next year. 

Big cool down Wednesday and Thursday, only 40 for a high, rest of the week we are in the 50’s. I ran out of beef early yesterday, I was out of the bar by 4pm.

Went over to Mom’s yesterday and dug out the bottom garage, it shouldn’t have been that easy being down there for the first time all winter, we just didn’t have that much snow. 136 inches for the whole year last I heard.

I am going to take a few days off, probably will not post anything the rest of the week. So get back to work and you’ll be hearing from me next Monday.

 

Weather: Only sucks if you own a sled.

Trail conditions: See ya next year. 

The Fat Lady has sung. Thank you everyone that came in to see us this year. Every year has its challenges and this year sure had its share. Hopefully next season will be a lot better.

I will be cooking beef today until about 5pm, then I will be shutting the kitchen down until next December.

Two poets die and end up at the golden gates at the same time. St. Peter tells them that they only have room for one poet and he’s sending them back to earth for two weeks and for each to make up a poem. When they return they will recite their poems and the one with the best poem gets into heaven. As they walk away St. Peter says “Oh by the way, your subject it Timbuktu”. Two weeks later the two poets are back at the gate and St. Peter asks if they have poems and they both say yes. St. Peter says “Ok Longfellow you go first”:

 

Longfellow’s poem:

 

Well St. Peter, I see a sea of shinning sand with a castle upon the land,

There’s a caravan passing through,

It’s destination is Timbuktu

 

St. Peter says “Very good Longfellow, how about you Shakespeare”:

 

Shakespeare’s poem:

 

Well St, Peter, Tim and I a hunting we went,

Came upon three fair maidens in a tent,

Them of three and us of two,

I bucked one and Tim bucked two…

 

Longfellow was sent packing.