Archive for May 18, 2017

5-18-17

Weather: Cold, Shitty, not Yet May type of weather.

One thing good about the shitty weather, no bugs. Seen a few mosquitos and black flies but not many.

The Tax System Explained in Beer
  
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100… If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
  
– The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
– The fifth would pay $1.
– The sixth would pay $3.
– The seventh would pay $7.
– The eighth would pay $12.
– The ninth would pay $18.
– The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
  
So, that’s what they decided to do.
  
The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball.  “Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20”.  Drinks for the ten men would now cost just $80.
  
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes, so the first four men were unaffected.  They would still drink for free.  But what about the other six men?  How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?
  
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33.  But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.
  
So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.
  
And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).
  
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3… (33% saving).
  
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7… (28% saving).
  
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12… (25% saving).
  
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18… (22% saving).
  
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59… (16% saving).
  
Each of the six was better off than before.  And the first four continued to drink for free. 
  
But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.
  
“I only got a dollar out of the $20 saving,” declared the sixth man.  He pointed to the tenth man, “but he got $10!”
  
“Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a dollar too.  It’s unfair that he received ten times more benefit than me!”
  
“That’s true!” shouted the seventh man.  “Why should he get $10 back, when I got only $2?  The wealthy get all the breaks!”
  
“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison, “We didn’t get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!”
  
The nine men surrounded the tenth man and beat him up.
  
The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him.  But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important.  They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
  
And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how our tax system works.  The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction. 
  
Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.  In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
  
David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics.
  
For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation 
is possible.

5-16-17

Weather: Thunderstorms again.

We had a nice gentle rain yesterday, I had a fire going all through it. Bush Lights and watching House reruns down at the garage. I may have the same agenda going today. I Better put hot dogs on the list.

5-15-17

Weather: Thunderstorms.

April showers bring May flowers, but I think we are getting our showers in May. 3 days of Thunderstorms and then 3 days of rain LOL. Bring it on Mother Nature, I haven’t had to cut grass in at least 7 months.

A professor at Wayne State University in Detroit was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?”

About 90 students raise their hands.

“Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?”
About 40 students raise their hands.

“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”
About 15 students raise their hand.

“Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?”
Three students raise their hands.

“That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?”
Way in the back, Hamad raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses and says, “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”

The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, “So, Hamad, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?”

Hamad replied, “Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats.”

5-12-17

Weather: Warm and Sunny.

A nice forecast for the weekend. Sunny and 60’s. I am going to finish a few odds and ends in the kitchen, still waiting on lights and a few other things to come in.

We have caught up with the flu crap that was going around and I think the whole house has went through it in the last week and a half, hopefully we have passed it on to someone else. LOL.

An attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client. “Paul, I have some good news, and I have some bad news.”
The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day.  Give me the good news first.”

The lawyer said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she just invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15 million to $20 million, and I think she could be right.”

Paul replied enthusiastically, “Well done!  My wife is a brilliant businesswoman!  You’ve just made my day.  Now I know I can handle the bad news.  What is it?”

The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you and your secretary.”

5-11-17

Weather: Gloomy and 50’s.

We had a few sprinkles yesterday but it didn’t rain on my parade. Had a fire going down at the garage and I got a little tipsy. Note to self, cancel internet access when Bush Light and Tequila are present. I had a blast though, it was a beautiful day.

 

Why Women are hired by the CIA
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists: two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
“We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her.”
The man said “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said, “Then you are not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.”
The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes, so take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband.
She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard one after another. Then they heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow.
“The gun was loaded with blanks,” she said. “I had to kill him with the chair.”

5-10-17

Weather: Warm and sunny.

Looks like we are in for a string of nice weather. 60’s as far out as the forecast goes. I don’t know how Mother Nature expects the Black Flies, May Flies and Mosquitos to come out and bug the shit out of us if it doesn’t warm up. Look out now though, Black flies should be on their way.

Flu has had us down for a while now, good thing I got that Flu shot. Looks like we are on the downward end though, hopefully anyway.

Nothing like folks from Wisconsin…really

 

A little known fact…After digging to a depth of 10 feet last year outside Buffalo, New York, scientists found traces of copper cable dating back 100 years.

They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years-ago.

 

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a Los Angeles, California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet somewhere just outside Oceanside. Shortly afterward, a story in the LA Times read, “California

archaeologists, reporting a finding of 200 year-old copper cable, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.

 

One week later, a local newspaper in Green Bay, Wisconsin reported,  “After digging 30 feet deep in his pasture near the community of Antigo, Wisconsin, Ole (Dave) Olson, a heck of an engineer and a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing.”

 

Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years-ago, Wisconsin had already gone wireless.  Just makes a person proud to be from Wisconsin!!

 

5-8-17

Weather: Cool but sunny.

I’m back and ready to do regular updates again. During the remodel. I actually lost my computer for 4 or 5 days.

It’s been on the cold side for a few weeks up here. This week looks a little more promising with sunshine and 50’s in the forecast.

The kitchen project is coming along, just waiting for windows, doors, under cabinet lights and the energy to finish painting and putting up trim. Becker has been working at getting the fricken dry wall dust cleaned up from every nook and cranny in the fricken house. We made our first meal last night, Cottage Pie. An american version of Shepard’s Pie I guess. Go easy on the tyhme spice if you make it though, I think I used a little too much.

 

5-6-17

Weather: Cool.

Looks like it has been a week since I wrote last. I been busy in Becker’s Kitchen. 

Yea I know that I should have emptied the dishwasher, put my tools away, threw out the pizza box, put the spices away and finished hooking up the light underneath the cabinet before I took the pic, but this project kicked my ass. I still have a little more painting to do, the pantry to finish up and some trim to put up. But for the rest of this weekend I am working on emptying a tequila bottle and a couple of 30 packs of Bush Light.