Weather: Beautiful
70’s and Sunny today then back to rain for a few days, but our forecast usually does change, so I wouldn’t be surprised if we have more Sunny days this week.
Minature Golf
It was at a miniature golf course on a brutally hot day when I saw a father with 3 kids. “Who’s winning?” I asked cheerfully. “I am” said one “no, I am” said another. “No,” the father said “their mother is!”
Weather: Rain on and off, gloomy skies, might just as well find a nice bar stool.
Not a lot going on, slow up here, not many people around yet. Come up and see the UP, ATV riding is great right now, little dust on the trails makes for a good ride.
Shout out to Captain Asshole, I gave Becker all my tip money like you told me last night. Hopefully you turned your paycheck over to Darlene.
Weather: another perfect 70 and overcast day.
What a fun night, had a few drinks with Mom and reminiscing about Pops on his birthday. Even though Pops passed away almost 3 years ago we bought him a new french door refrigerator and a blue tooth speaker for Mom’s iPad. A night cap with Uncle Dale and then I slept till noon. Perfect.
Thanks Wood Chuck for sending me something other than titties.
A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies room of the gas station.As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked,“Sonny, can you tell me where the Post Office is?”The little boy replied, “Sure! Just go straight down this streettwo blocks and turn to your right. It’s on the left.”The man thanked the boy kindly, complimented him on how bright he was and said,“I’m the new pastor in town. If you and your mommy come to church on Sunday,I’ll show you how to get to Heaven.”The little boy replied with a chuckle; “Are you kidding me?”You can’t even find the Post Office.”
Weather: 70 and overcast, Perfect.
Had a nice fire last night, Got some yard work done so Becker is Happy.
I thought today was the first day of Summer but the internet says June 21 was. But today the days start getting shorter, in no time we will start seeing snow falling from the heavens. Sorry I love winter time in the UP.
I have been looking around for a joke because I am running short on what people send me. Except for my Buddy Wood Chuck, I can always count on opening my email and seeing 10+ emails full of titties.
So sorry no joke today, gotta go get this day started, Summer will be over before we know it.
Weather: Just fricken Beautiful.
Well yesterday was a bust, no bon fire or Bush Lights, Menards had 11% off so it was off to Rhinelander to pick up the rest of the flooring for the living room. Happy Wife, Happy Life they say.
Weather: 60’s to mid 70’s this week.
Cloudy and overcast, good day to cut grass and have a bon fire. I better go get some bush light and put it on ice, what good is a fire without cold beer?
A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 — lobster?”
Weather: 60’s to mid 70’s this week.
Big shout out to Brother Mark and Friend Wally for helping get Mom’s dock in.
A little cooler this week but surprisingly the Lake temp was not bad. I would like it a little warmer before trying to take the grand kids swimming but it is getting there.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man
approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and
flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, ‘Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.’
SMART
ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find
one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ‘ Do these turkeys get any
bigger?’
The stock boy replied, ‘No ma’am, they’re dead…’
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. ‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.’
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART
ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge
Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged
under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck
driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, ‘Got stuck, huh?’
The truck driver says, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.’
SMART
ASS ANSWER
OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. ‘Now class, I won’t
tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack
or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s
it, no other excuses whatsoever!’
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, ‘What would you
say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?’
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the
teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, ‘Well, I guess
you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.’
Weather: Again with the Sunny and Hot.
Beautiful weather here in the UP, you guys can have your 90’s, 80 is warm enough.
I worked on the web cam at Mom’s again yesterday. Good news is I got the camera uploading pics, but I still can’t seem to get the settings right to run the live video. I’ll keep working on it, I have to work the next couple of days, but I’ll get back to it soon.
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A
man
walks
into
a
restaurant
with
a
full-grown
ostrich
behind
him.
The
waitress
asks
them
for
their
orders.
The
man
says,
“A
hamburger,
fries
and
a
coke,”
and
turns
to
The
ostrich,
“What’s
yours?”
“I’ll
have
the
same,”
says
the
ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will Be $9.40 please” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The
next
day,
the
man
and
the
ostrich
come
again
and
the
man
Says,
“A
hamburger,
fries
and
a
coke.”
The
ostrich
says,
“I’ll
have
the
same.”
Again
the
man
reaches
into
his
pocket
and
pays
with
exact
change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. “The usual?” Asks the waitress. “No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,” says the man. “Same,” says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.62.” Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?” “Well,” says the man, “Several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.” “That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!” “That’s right..Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man. The waitress asks, “What’s with the ostrich?” The man sighs, pauses and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say..”
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Weather: Sunny and Hot.
80 degrees for a few days, then 60’s by the end of the weekend for highs. Perfect weather.
The web cam at Mom’s house is down, I worked on it for a while yesterday but I am not sure what is going on. I thought it was a problem I created by messing with network settings but it seems like I do not have any power to it. We had some good lightning crashes around the time it went off and I am hoping the camera did not get hit.
Weeks after I finished up with the kitchen remodel Becker still couldn’t make up her mind on curtains. So I took on the task myself and got the job done.
Weather: Who knows for sure.
Yesterday was supposed to be high 70’s and overcast, but all of a sudden in the afternoon a thunderstorm came in. I had to wait until late last night to build a fire and bring out the tequila. Come to think of it, maybe the tequila has something to do with Mom’s web cam being off line. I’ll get it fixed today. Shit I just seen I knocked the weather station off line too.
Bubba and Billy Joe were on vacation in Houston, walking downtown, window shopping, and they see a sign on a store which reads, “Suits $5.99 each, shirts $1.99 each, trousers $2.49 each. Bubba says to his pal, “Billy Joe, Look here! We could buy a whole gob of these, take ’em back to Alabama, sell ’em and make a fortune. Just let me do the talkin’, ’cause if they hear your accent, they might think we’re ignorant, and not wanna sell that stuff to us”. Now, I’ll talk in a slow Texas drawl so’s they don’t know we is from Alabama .” They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Texas drawl, “I’ll take 50 of them suits at $5.99, 100 of them there shirts at $1.99, 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.39. I’ll back up my pickup and….” “The owner of the shop interrupts, “Ya’ll from Alabama, ain’t ya?” “Well…yeah,” says a surprised Bubba. “How come ya’ll knowed that? “Because this is a Dry-Cleaners.”
| Bergland Bay Bar |
 9.3°F |
| Today: 24°F / 18°F |
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| Tomorrow | Sunday | Monday |
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| 32° / 25° | 35° / 24° | 36° / 31° |
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Data powered by |
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