Bergland Bay Bar

Weather: Rain for a week.

Looks like a few more rainy or drizzly days and then it may turn nice for the 4th. LOL at least that is what it says now. Well if it is raining for your cook outs that is why God created the Garage. Some of the best parties we had were during a rainy day drinking beer in the garage.

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him. jo“I have some good news and some bad news,” says the surgeon. “The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”“Oh God no!” cries the man “My golfing is over!Please Doc, what’s the good news?” “The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm and I’ll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant.” “Go for it doc,” says the man, “as long as I can play golf again.” The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon. “Hi, how’s the new arm?” asks the surgeon. “Just great,” says the businessman. “I’m playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved.” “That’s great,” said the surgeon. “Not only that,” continued the golfer, “my handwriting has improved, I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes and I’ve even taken up painting landscapes in watercolours.”“That’s unbelievable!” said the surgeon, “I’m so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?”“Well, just two, said the golfer, “I have trouble parallel parking and every time I get an erection, I get a headache.”

Weather: Beautiful

70’s and Sunny today then back to rain for a few days, but our forecast usually does change, so I wouldn’t be surprised if we have more Sunny days this week.

Minature Golf

It was at a miniature golf course on a brutally hot day when I saw a father with 3 kids. “Who’s winning?” I asked cheerfully. “I am” said one “no, I am” said another. “No,” the father said “their mother is!”

Weather: Rain on and off, gloomy skies, might just as well find a nice bar stool.

Not a lot going on, slow up here, not many people around yet. Come up and see the UP, ATV riding is great right now, little dust on the trails makes for a good ride.

Shout out to Captain Asshole, I gave Becker all my tip money like you told me last night. Hopefully you turned your paycheck over to Darlene.

Weather: another perfect 70 and overcast day.

What a fun night, had a few drinks with Mom and reminiscing about Pops on his birthday. Even though Pops passed away almost 3 years ago we bought him a new french door refrigerator and a blue tooth speaker for Mom’s iPad. A night cap with Uncle Dale and then I slept till noon. Perfect.

Thanks Wood Chuck for sending me something other than titties.

A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies room of the gas station.

As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked,

“Sonny, can you tell me where the Post Office is?”

The little boy replied, “Sure! Just go straight down this street 

two blocks and turn to your right.  It’s on the left.”

The man thanked the boy kindly, complimented him on how bright he was and said,

“I’m the new pastor in town. If you and your mommy come to church on Sunday,

I’ll show you how to get to Heaven.”

The little boy replied with a chuckle; “Are you kidding me?”

You can’t even find the Post Office.”

Weather: 70 and overcast, Perfect.

Had a nice fire last night, Got some yard work done so Becker is Happy.

I thought today was the first day of Summer but the internet says June 21 was. But today the days start getting shorter, in no time we will start seeing snow falling from the heavens. Sorry I love winter time in the UP.

I have been looking around for a joke because I am running short on what people send me. Except for my Buddy Wood Chuck, I can always count on opening my email and seeing 10+ emails full of titties.

So sorry no joke today, gotta go get this day started, Summer will be over before we know it.

Weather: Just fricken Beautiful.

Well yesterday was a bust, no bon fire or Bush Lights, Menards had 11% off so it was off to Rhinelander to pick up the rest of the flooring for the living room. Happy Wife, Happy Life they say.

Weather: 60’s to mid 70’s this week.

Cloudy and overcast, good day to cut grass and have a bon fire. I better go get some bush light and put it on ice, what good is a fire without cold beer?

A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs.

When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 — lobster?”

Weather: 60’s to mid 70’s this week.

Big shout out to Brother Mark and Friend Wally for helping get Mom’s dock in.

A little cooler this week but surprisingly the Lake temp was not bad. I would like it a little warmer before trying to take the grand kids swimming but it is getting there.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, ‘Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.’

SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ‘ Do these turkeys get any bigger?’
The stock boy replied, ‘No ma’am, they’re dead…’

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. ‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.’
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, ‘Got stuck, huh?’
The truck driver says, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.’

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. ‘Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!’
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, ‘What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?’
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, ‘Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.’

Weather: Again with the Sunny and Hot.

Beautiful weather here in the UP, you guys can have your 90’s, 80 is warm enough.

I worked on the web cam at Mom’s again yesterday. Good news is I got the camera uploading pics, but I still can’t seem to get the settings right to run the live video. I’ll keep working on it, I have to work the next couple of days, but I’ll get back to it soon.