Archive for October 31, 2016

10-21-16

Weather: Gloomy, go figure, I’m off today LOL.

Back to Iron Mountain with Becker this morning, Becker is doing good and after Friday she will be half way through with her treatments.

Bad football day for all of the Packer and Lions Fans. But how about them Cubbies. Well their fans can’t get to excited yet, only 4 times since 1925 has a team come back from a 3-1 record. But just maybe…….

Les and Shelly’s liquor license got approved last week, congrats you two, they might be taking over as soon as this week sometime.

Donald and Hillary went into a bakery on the campaign trail.
As soon as they entered the bakery, Hillary stole three pastries and put them in her pocket.

She said to Donald, “See how clever I am? The owner didn’t see anything and I don’t even need to lie”. I will definitely win the election.”

The Donald said to Hillary, “That’s the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result.”

Donald went to the owner of the bakery and said, “Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick.”

Intrigued, the owner accepted and gave him a pastry.

Trump swallowed it and asked for another one.

The owner gave him another one.

Then Donald asked for a third pastry and ate that, too.

The owner started to wonder where the magic trick was and asked, “What did you do with the pastries?”

Trump replied, “Look in Hillary’s pocket!”

It sure is nice to see the young people take care of the old people……

20161030_141523

10-28-16

Weather: Gloomy again, but who cares, we are going home today.

Becker is in now getting her last treatment for the week. Things are back to going as planned and she is holding her own. Three weeks in the books and only five more to go. A half an hour from now we will be headed back to Bergland.

Les and Shelly’s Liquor License was approved yesterday so we should see some action on the bar sale soon. But again, don’t fret, you are not go to see a lot of changes. At least not at first LOL. They know how important Beef Sandwiches, Web Cams and Honest Trail Reports are to all of you. Les is even talking about possibly doing an “Honest” fishing report.

Rita found her husband hanging in his bedroom this morning.
There was a note on his bed which read, “I can’t take the critism anymore.”
She quickly cut the rope, brought him down and managed to revive him.
As her husband lay in her arms and slowly opened his eyes, she remarked:
“That’s NOT how you spell criticism my dear!”

10-27-16

Weather: Gloomy, but who cares.

Becker is doing good. After tomorrow she will have 3 weeks down and only 5 more to go. Enough about her, let me tell you about my day yesterday.

There I was driving down the road leaving Bergland, the temp was 40 degrees and it was drizzling. The further east I drove the temp was dropping, 39, then 38, then 37, by the time it hit 36 degrees the rain drops on the windshield started to change shape. Could it be? Oh yes, by the time it hit 35 degrees that beautiful white shit was falling from the heavens. Even though it didn’t stick nor did the roads get slick, I was driving through snow, the first snowfall of the year. I think I even got a chubby.

A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM.
The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, “How am I supposed to know? We’re 200 miles inland!” and hangs up.
Her husband rolls over and asks, “Sweetheart, who was that?”
“I don’t know, some dumb bitch asking if the coast is clear.”

10-26-16

Weather: Gloomy.

I am off today so it is going to be a shitty day. LOL Actually I am going down to Iron Mountain to spend the next few days with Becker. Becker had a rough time last week but we got her on something to calm her nerves a bit and so far this week things are going pretty good. I think I am going to get a sleazy motel room so we can kick back and relax.

A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom that he needs Viagra.
The mom asks, “Why on Earth do you need that?!”
The little boy says, “Isn’t that what you give daddy when his shit doesn’t get hard?”

10-25-16

Weather: Sunny.

Looks like it is going to be a very nice day. Temps still need to start dropping, time to get that ground freezing up. Not much going on right now, but November is right around the corner. We are expecting the sale of the bar to go through shortly here. Les and Shelly are eager to take over, it will be all theirs in no time. No worries though, beef sandwiches and daily trail reports are here to stay.

untitled-3

Weather: Not sure, I wrote this last night.

Left for Iron Mountain last night. So don’t fault me for shitty weather today. Becker is having some problems with her treatments so we had to come down early today. Cooler is finally fixed, so no more not totally not cold beer.

An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. The old man asks, ”Why are you going to sleep on the floor?” The old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change.”

10-21-16

Weather: Cloudy and gloomy.

Not a nice day today, but I am going to pick up Becker, so it’s all sunshine and lolly pops for me. Becker’s throat is getting soar so it is probably going to be a liquid diet for the next 6 weeks or so. It’s all good though, we were told this was going to happen.

The Packers pulled one out last night. Sorry Bear’s fans. And sorry goes out to the White Sox fans too, I know you guys hate seeing the Cubs still winning. Go Cubbys.

A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!” The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal.” The trucker replies, “Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick.

10-20-16

Weather: Sunny.

Cooler problems are still an issue, I ordered a replacement part that will be here tomorrow, I will wait for a qualified electrician to install it so I don’t hook it up wrong again LOL. (Long story) Well the short version is the part I got on Tuesday I may have hooked up wrong and damaged it.

A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won’t run away.” “What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

10-19-16

Weather: Gloomy.

Shitty day yesterday, I have been having cooler problems for a while now. When we thought we got to the bottom of it, all of a sudden the temperature controller goes out too. But for $40 I could overnight the $50 part. No too bad considering I ordered it at 6pm and it arrived at 11am the next day. We will be up and running today. And with Very Cold Beer.

Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up nude, in a garden while a nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to his privates, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of purity. The model danced before the first monk candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response, until she got to the final monk. As she danced, his bell rang so loudly it fell off and clattered to the ground. Embarrassed, he bent down to pick up the bell, and all the other bells went off.